Beware the Boundary Violators

We all know them, the space invaders, the time suckers. They waste your time, make you feel uncomfortable and make you say and do things you don’t want to. A lot of people have issues with setting and maintaining boundaries with others. Boundaries are the physical, mental and emotion ‘line’ between us and other people. Some people’s boundaries are too rigid and they push people away and some are too sloppy and this allows other people to violate your boundaries and get into your personal space.

 

We are excited to be speaking about this topic at the 2018 NLP International Conference because NLP, for us, contains by far the most useful methods for working with people to help them set and maintain good boundaries.

 

Awareness of boundary issues is key and this is where they get overlooked because other problems present themselves. Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries is not merely a skill, it encompasses everything we do. It’s not a simple behavioural issue, it’s much deeper than that.

 

Boundary issues manifest themselves via:

 

  • general non verbal behaviour, facial expressional and gestures

  • habitual language patterns

  • our energy

 

The good news is that once you are aware you can do something to enforce your boundaries and teach others to treat you appropriately.

 

Working with boundaries is a key element for any of the following kind of work:

 

•   Group dynamics in facilitating meetings, training programmes and when giving presentations

•   Self confidence issues

•   Fear and anger related problems

•   People pleasing issues

•   Loneliness and isolation

•   Time management issues

 

Where you can address their boundary issues, it enables you to be self confident without being arrogant, strong without being pushy, successful and more authentic whilst maintaining your health and energy.

 

 

By Karen Meager and John McLachlan, NLP Master Trainers

 

 

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